Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize