he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
