R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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