If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize