Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
