I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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