how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
