Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize