Dignity is for republicans.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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