You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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