I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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