I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
