Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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