OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
