i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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