i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
