I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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