I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize