I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
