just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
