well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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