belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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