His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
