He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
