I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
