Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
