dude i'm inner monologue high
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
