1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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