If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
