you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
