Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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