Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
