would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
