he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
