Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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