Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
