got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
