That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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