your room smells of hookers.
And success
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize