You're my little dorito
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
