you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
no you cant smoke seaweed
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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