Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize