marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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