Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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