Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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