they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize