If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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