I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
