To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
