He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
