my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
