Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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