Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
