he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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