Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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