i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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