just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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