You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
