I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you never un-have a 4some
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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