oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
