letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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