im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize