I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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