a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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