The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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