you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
