and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
