He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
