Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Who died my cat blue again?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
